My friendship dilemma

Well, here I am, making a blog in a strange place, for strangers to see. To afraid to do it on my MySpace blog. Don't really care for my husband to see it. Not that I really have anything to hide from him, but more because if he reads it, he gets all sad and wants to fix me. Which I commend him for, but there are just some things and feeling that aren't his responsibility to fix, and they just lead to arguments and crying.

About three years ago, we met our friend Hiedi. The three of us became fast close friends. Spent all of the time together, until she moved back in with her partner. That of course and as expected, went south within months of her moving back in, but took her almost a year and a half to finally make the move. I have been out of work for almost three years due to injuries suffered in an auto accident and damaged my back. When Hiedi was ready to start her new life, she tunred to us as her "best friends" to help her get a start on a new life as this was a very timely thing and she was a full time single mom with a full time job. So, my husband and I agreed after some extensive talking, to go ahead and loan her the initial $1500 to rent a place, get some furntiture, and so on. In the meantime, I found the perfect house to rent, very close to a school for her son and very close to her work. After that, I was asked to drive around the greater metro area to pick up and mostly pay for new stuff shed buy online. We have taken her out to expensive dinners, the opera, and have taken a week out of our lives twice when her grandparents were dying and lived like 500 miles away. When she had surgery this summer, even though we had a small falling out, I was still there to see her in pre-op, hold her hand, kiss her on the head, and waited all day with her mom, dad, and one sister that bothered to show up. Her father and sister couldn't be bothered to stay, so when the surgeon came out to talk to us, I talked to him to get the info as her mom would not understand it. I then stayed at the hospital with her until 9pm (over 12 hours). When she was finally getting discharged, I had cut roses from my garden and left them in a vase on her coffee table for when she came home. And althoug both of her divorced parents were insisting on staying with her, it was my husband and myself that went to the grocery store for her and made her a large pot of soup to eat during her recovery. My husband was the one that got so stressed and cried for her when he was afraid her cancer was coming back (which it didn't).

In June, we busted her when I asked her about a random car I saw in her driveway (she lives relatively close to us, and we pass by her house on occasion). As it turned out, she had been dating someone for a month and felt she couldn't tell us for a while, even though most of her other friends already knew. As it turned out, that relationship went bust fairly quickly. But she was still being distant. I know it sounds crqazt to say this, but the three of us can EASILY tell when something is going on with the other person. We've all realized we can read each other's mannerisms VERY well, uncanny, really. So since she's been broken up with last guy, she's been getting more distant again, worse than her partner she was living with, and worse than this last guy. I knew she had someone new, and that was why she's been flaking on us even more than usual. I went into the hospital just over a month ago and was there for three days. She never called or showed up the first night, stating she fell asleep. My guess, is she was on a date. She did show up the next day, but she was there taking her dad in for tests. My husband just happened to run into her. Then I never heard from her the next day. Whatever. She invited me to go do mani/pedis a week later (the appointment she's been promising since my birthday 10 months ago) and that sucked. I felt like crap anyway, but then she got the royal treatment and more or less ignored me, and I got crappy service. She was supposed to come back later that night, nope she baled. She asked me to watch her son since he didn't have school, I said sure, altered my schedule, and the night before, because I asked what the plan was for the next morning, she decides to tell me that I wasn't needed after all. I ended up having to have surgery a month ago. My sister, who is supposed to me my other best friend, I thought, was more concerned about the presidential election than the fears I was having prior to my surgery. Hieid, my so called "Best Friend" couldn't even be bothered to call me the night before, even as little as an email saying good luck, I'll be thinking about you. NOTHING! I went into my surgery crying scared and feeling very lonely. She never even made any effort to stop by my house afterward to check on me, absolutely nothing. I feel like as soon as my money and usefulness wasn't convenient to her, she more or less dumped us.

I am truly frustrated that I'm being made to feel like I'm stupid and that my feelings are worth nothing. I am a good person, and try to be a great friend. Maybe that's the problem, maybe I just set myself up for huge letdowns. All I do know is that I will not reduce myself down to being a person that treats people like crap because those seem to be the people she lets into her life anymore. She's already shut us out of most everything. Oh wait, we do talk about selling things on eBay and Craigslist. Yep, my pen pal.

So, she and I are apparently supposed to have a talk Wednesday night (if she actually shows up) so we can get things out in the air and hopefully resolved before she comes over to ahng out on Saturday night (part of me is wondering if she's hoping Wed night gets screwed up so she can cancel Sat night). I know you bring what you think into this word and attitude is everything, but I am so riding the fence on whether I want to be friends with this person anymore.